Abraham's faithfulness

I am astounded sometimes at how the Holy Spirit opens my eyes to Scripture in new ways according to where I am in life. I was reading the part of Genesis last night when God asks Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac as a burnt offering. Not only is this a big ask in itself because it's his son, but he and his wife Sarah have been waiting and waiting on God to bless them with a child. They are old, and they've finally had a son, and God asks him to sacrifice him. And he does! Well, until God stops him and gives him a goat as a replacement.

I've always read this story in the same way - comparing it with Jesus' death on the cross as a sacrifice for us instead of suffering the consequences of our sin. But last night I read in a whole new light. Isaac was Abraham's most treasured thing on earth. He had waited for him for so long, and God had promised that he would bless him with thousands upon thousands of descendants. It didn't seem to make any sense that God would ask him to sacrifice that part of his life that seemed to be filled with so much promise. If I am to identify that thing in my life - the thing that I love so dearly, and even (at times) put above God - it would be marriage and the hope of having a family. These things in and of themselves are good things, but would I be willing to sacrifice them as a 'burnt offering' for God? If he asked me to sacrifice them, would I? Because this is a good indicator of whether or not God is indeed sitting on the throne of my heart. Jesus said we have to be willing to leave our father and mother, our family, our home - everything to follow him. He may not necessarily ask this of me, but am I willing to do so? Or are these things that I won't sacrifice to Him?

Being There

I've heard it said (it was probably at the cheesy end of a movie) that 90% of being a good parent is simply showing up. I think its the same of marriage. There are inevitably going to be times in marriage - when things go wrong, when one of us stuffs something up, or when one of us receives some terrible news - when there is nothing you can say... you just have to be there for one another. It's in these times that words cannot express sorrow nor can they heal wounds. We just need to know we're there for one another. Sometimes silence can be more soothing than any words, as long as there is a hand to hold in the darkness.

Its in these times that I realise most clearly that I cannot be everything to my husband. Only God is powerful enough to soften his heart, to comfort his weary soul, and to carry the burdens he no longer can bear. Only God can make a difference to the future of such circumstances, and give him assurance that there is indeed hope ahead. These are the times when I can do nothing else but fall to my knees before our Heavenly Father and commit everything to Him in prayer because I have nothing left to offer.

Mum's Pumpkin Soup

There's nothing like Mum's cooking. This is one of those recipes that reminds me of my childhood. The other night Marty went away with some mates to Canberra, and since he hates pumpkin, I took the opportunity to indulge in it for just one dinner.

Mum's Pumpkin Soup
1kg pumpkin, diced
1 sweet potato, diced
1 onion, diced
1 clove garlic
water - enough to cover vegetables well
2 chicken stock cubes
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp crushed coriander seeds
milk to taste

Heat 1 Tablespoon of oil in a large pot. Saute onion and crushed garlic until tender. Add chopped pumpkin, sweet potato, coriander seeds and cumin and stir over high heat for a few minutes. Add water and stock, simmer covered for about 20 minutes. Puree using a stick blender in the saucepan (or transfer to a regular blender). Stir in milk until correct consistency is reached. Serve hot with sour cream and crusty bread. Enjoy!

Mary's heart, Martha's skill

Not long ago, Marty and I went to Hornsby to meet with some of the people who lead with us on beach mission in January each year. Originally the meeting was going to be a training event on evangelism, preparing a gospel talk for kids, and things like that. But I felt very strongly convicted that lately (particularly in regards to mission) I have been too much of a ‘Martha’ and not enough of a ‘Mary’ (Luke 10:38-42). I’ve been making myself so busy with plans and preparations that I have neglected to stop, sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to what he has to say. Isn’t it so easy to do? When things aren’t working, we just try harder. When we feel out of control, we take more onto ourselves thinking that we will be able to control it all. When Jesus speaks to Martha, I feel like he’s directly speaking to me, “Martha, Martha…you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.”
So I gathered a small group from our team and we prayed. We looked in depth at several Bible passages on prayer to establish what it is and how we are meant to do it. Prayer is so much more than petition. It is submission to His will and growing the desire to see more of Him and less of ourselves in our lives. When Jesus prayed in Gethsemane, he wasn’t giving him a list of things he wanted. Rather, he was coming before the Father in his greatest hour of distress to seek God and His will in the situation. Prayer should be an outpouring of our desire to grow in our relationship with God. It should draw us closer to God as we seek His will in our lives.
In our little group of 7, we prayed for each other, and we prayed for mission itself, covering it in God’s guidance and protection. We confessed our sins to Him and prayed for those we will be ministering to in January. And honestly, I came away refreshed! I came away with a peace in my heart and a load off my shoulders because I have left my concerns and anxieties at God’s feet. How wonderful it is to know our Creator and sustainer who is able to (and wants to) carry our burdens! It’s a priviledge that should not be taken for granted.

I’ve been reading a book lately that I borrowed from my mum, entitled ‘Disciplines of a Godly Woman’ by Barbara Hughes. It has given me a lot to think about, and encourgaged me to pursue a deeper relationship with God – That’s definitely a good sign that it’s a decent christian book!

Last night I read a chapter on character, in which Barbara discusses the place of television in our lives. Television is all about image, and falsifies life; it depicts a warped view of reality. Since it is so dependent on images, it draws us away from being able and willing to relate to the Word of God, which is so prominent in God communicating with us. She quotes cultural observer and critic Kenneth Myers, “A culture that is rooted more in images than in words will find it increasingly difficult to sustain a broad commitment to any truth, since truth is an abstraction requiring language.” Quite insightful.

So Marty and I went through the week’s TV guide and highlighted the shows that we particularly want to watch, agreeing that the TV will remain off for the rest of the time. Instead of sitting in front of the idiot box, we spent last night sitting across from each other on the lounge, reading our books. It was lovely sitting in silence in each other’s company… not needing to say anything, but just enjoying being together.

Healthy desire vs. pure idolatry

Something that my husband is well aware of is that I have a particularly strong (and growing) desire to have children. I have always loved kids – their curiosity, their joy, their unconditional love, and just how darn cute they  are! I’ve babysat a lot of kids over the years, and it would be so special one day to be able to raise our kids the way Marty and I want to, instilling our own Christian values in them (something I can’t do with other peoples’ kids). And with several of my close friends starting to have babies, the ‘cluckiness’ just keeps intensifying! (Mum and Dad, don’t get excited, I’m not pregnant. Just wanted to clear that up!)

But this has caused me to question lately, at what point does a desire become idolatry? Modern idols are not carved out of wood or stone – they can be anything… food, sport, success, career, social acceptance, a spouse, a house… They can be something inherently good, but if we choose to put them in the place of God in our hearts, that’s when they are transformed from a desire to a coveted object/idea. (That’s the conclusion I’ve come to anyway). But it can be so difficult to read your own heart sometimes and distinguish where your heart is on that spectrum. Perhaps a good way of gauging it is by asking “what do I spend most of my daydreaming thinking about?”. If it’s the thing you desire, then it’s probably time to re-prioritise and to start praying for God to give you a renewed hunger for Him and for His Word.

I’m still considering whether or not children are an idol for me, but I know that either way I need to be on guard, because Satan is prowling around like a roaring lion, and will try to use anything he can to twist my heart and my priorities away from God. Even if it isn’t, he will try to tempt me with something else in the future and I need to be ready, clothed with the armour of God

Worship: An expression of adoration

Over the past couple of years I have been involved in music at our church, and have consequently had many conversations about how we worship God in this context. I have been surprised at how many people have said to me that they don't know why we sing at church... and yet we do it every week for a decent proportion of the service. To me that's worrying.

So I've been pondering this notion of worship, and I know that worship is much more than singing - it's a life-attitude of glorifying God. But there's something about music that I've always felt is a special way of praising God. I've just struggled to articulate it. I think I can now, so here goes...

As a church we pray in thanks, in confession, and in supplication, but so rarely do we pray in pure adoration of God. Singing as a congregation is an opportunity to drop everything where we are (physically and spiritually) and give God praise for who he is and for what he has done.

It's certainly possible to worship God in other ways, but through the unique tool of music we can focus on God and sacrifice something of ourselves to Him in that moment. And that's just what God wants - our attention. It's like listening to a friend with our full attention. By doing this we are saying through our actions, "You are important enough to me to deserve my undivided attention". God can speak to us, but he wants our attention first so that we are ready to hear his voice.