Revisiting our priorities

The sunset on the way home from Wagga Wagga

Sometimes what God wants for us can be very easy to discern - he very clearly tugs on our heart strings, giving us that 'gut instinct' that what we are choosing is the right thing to do. But other times... I don't know... he seems to withhold from us, like a wise parent, knowing that the process of deciding will be more beneficial for us than the outcome of the decision itself. That's what God seems to have been doing for us lately. And while it is completely frustrating in the short-term, coming out of the other side I can see His hand at work.

To keep it concise, Marty has been in a very stressful work situation for the past 9-10 months, and a move to regional NSW has sounded very appealing. He was offered a great job in Wagga Wagga, and was due to go to a final interview today at 11.30am. We went down on the weekend to have a look around, get a feel for the area and see if it's somewhere we could see ourselves living. By the world's standards, everything was fitting into place and it was a very simple decision to make. We could have bought a 3 bedroom house on a half-acre block; he would've had a 25 minute commute to work through beautiful countryside; and we would've had a much more relaxed pace of life. Just what everyone wants, right?

But having this all laid out in front of us meant that we were also given the opportunity to refine and crystalise what our core priorities are. I like lists. And so I found it most helpful to make one of what our top priorities are, and we came up with this: 

1) God, and serving him with our lives

2) Our marriage

3) Our family

4) Our friends

Once we had done this, I realised that they are all people-centred priorities. Owning a house and living a comfortable life don't even make the list! And God never commanded us to do either of them. But he does command us time and time again to love people, and I think that's a love-in-action kind of love. God has given us so many excellent opportunities at this point in our lives to minister to individuals around us, and to move now - for us - I think would be to throw them back in God's face, saying that we'd rather the kinds of opportunities that fit in with what we think ministry should look like.

Marty came at it from a different angle. He felt that it was important to ask what our situation would look like from an outsider's perspective (Christian, of course). What - in our situation - would faithfulness to God look like; faithfulness in work, in relationships, in finances, in home life, in our marriage..? If we were able to remove ourselves from our circumstances and look at it objectively, what path would be most God-glorifying? [I love how God guides each of us differently, but brings us both to the same conclusion. I guess that's one of the joys of marriage under Christ. He unites two different people by his Spirit, and uses us to shape and refine one another through times like these.]

Don't get me wrong. We've had lots of friends move away who are very godly, wise and mature people, and I am confident that God is using them to influence people where they are. But for us I know that God wouldn't want us to cut short the relationships we have been cultivating with particular people who need to know him, for the sake of meeting our own selfish desires. It has been one of those big life-decisions that could have gone either way, and yes, God will use us wherever we are, but he has also blessed us immeasurably in so many ways. We are trusting that he has been guiding us this far and that He will continue to guide us as long as we seek after him.

Marty showed me this passage on Saturday, and it was when I read it that I was completely at rest with what we had decided to do.

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. 

If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 

For everything in the world - the cravings of sinful man, 

the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does - 

comes not from the Father but from the world. 

The world and its desires pass away, 

but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

1 John 2:15-17

Where the heart is

Over the past couple of weeks Marty and I have been forced to reevaluate our priorities, to the point where I've actually quit my job over it.

I've been working in sales for 5 months and have had to work most weekends, meaning that I have seen less of Marty than ever in our relationship, and have seen my parents and friends so infrequently that I feel very distant. It is a good job and pays well, but I was starting to reconsider how important it is for us to buy a place to live, and at what cost to our relationship with one another, with others, and with God? With a roster that consumes my weekends and is very inconsistent and unpredictable, I haven't been able to commit to many things outside of work, and ministry has been ineffective (if not non-existent).

So we committed it to God in prayer, and thankfully he answered quite quickly and with a 'yes', not a 'wait'. I got a call last week from the art director of Hi-5, where I completed my design internship last year, asking if I'd be available to fill in for her costume and props designers who are unable to work on this season of filming. It is the exact position I know I'd be happy in, and I'd get my weekends back! The only downside it that it is short-term (3 months) and we will have to find something afterwards. But God provides. I know he has something in store for us.

This decision to take the job has caused us to trust in God and not to put our trust in the 'security' of owning a home. It means that we will have more time to invest in relationships, which are more eternally significant anyway. Praise God for his provision, and amidst that, his desire to teach us to fully trust in Him.

And here's to a fun three months ahead!

God's Guidance

I'm seeking God's guidance in many areas of my life at the moment, and I have to be honest - I wish he was more direct in his methods of letting me know what to do! I've noticed over the past few weeks of prayer that God doesn't (in my experience) guide through a booming voice in the sky. He has instead been guiding me very much through online sermons (to the point where I wonder if Mark Driscoll has been hanging out in the corner of our house, observing what's going on!). I've also felt his guidance through conviction and through conversation with other Christians.

How do I know it's Him? I guess weighing it up with the Scriptures is key, but a lot of the time is too co-incidental to be a co-incidence! I'll be asking God to show us how to handle work outside the home, balancing it with work inside the home, and the next day I listen to a sermon online that targets that exact issue... God certainly does work in mysterious ways, but He also reveals that mystery to us if our hearts are soft and ready to listen to what he has to say.

It's my prayer that God will keep our hearts soft in all things so that we are open to his guidance and willing to face conviction... to hear Him even in the silence.

Abraham's faithfulness

I am astounded sometimes at how the Holy Spirit opens my eyes to Scripture in new ways according to where I am in life. I was reading the part of Genesis last night when God asks Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac as a burnt offering. Not only is this a big ask in itself because it's his son, but he and his wife Sarah have been waiting and waiting on God to bless them with a child. They are old, and they've finally had a son, and God asks him to sacrifice him. And he does! Well, until God stops him and gives him a goat as a replacement.

I've always read this story in the same way - comparing it with Jesus' death on the cross as a sacrifice for us instead of suffering the consequences of our sin. But last night I read in a whole new light. Isaac was Abraham's most treasured thing on earth. He had waited for him for so long, and God had promised that he would bless him with thousands upon thousands of descendants. It didn't seem to make any sense that God would ask him to sacrifice that part of his life that seemed to be filled with so much promise. If I am to identify that thing in my life - the thing that I love so dearly, and even (at times) put above God - it would be marriage and the hope of having a family. These things in and of themselves are good things, but would I be willing to sacrifice them as a 'burnt offering' for God? If he asked me to sacrifice them, would I? Because this is a good indicator of whether or not God is indeed sitting on the throne of my heart. Jesus said we have to be willing to leave our father and mother, our family, our home - everything to follow him. He may not necessarily ask this of me, but am I willing to do so? Or are these things that I won't sacrifice to Him?

Mary's heart, Martha's skill

Not long ago, Marty and I went to Hornsby to meet with some of the people who lead with us on beach mission in January each year. Originally the meeting was going to be a training event on evangelism, preparing a gospel talk for kids, and things like that. But I felt very strongly convicted that lately (particularly in regards to mission) I have been too much of a ‘Martha’ and not enough of a ‘Mary’ (Luke 10:38-42). I’ve been making myself so busy with plans and preparations that I have neglected to stop, sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to what he has to say. Isn’t it so easy to do? When things aren’t working, we just try harder. When we feel out of control, we take more onto ourselves thinking that we will be able to control it all. When Jesus speaks to Martha, I feel like he’s directly speaking to me, “Martha, Martha…you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.”
So I gathered a small group from our team and we prayed. We looked in depth at several Bible passages on prayer to establish what it is and how we are meant to do it. Prayer is so much more than petition. It is submission to His will and growing the desire to see more of Him and less of ourselves in our lives. When Jesus prayed in Gethsemane, he wasn’t giving him a list of things he wanted. Rather, he was coming before the Father in his greatest hour of distress to seek God and His will in the situation. Prayer should be an outpouring of our desire to grow in our relationship with God. It should draw us closer to God as we seek His will in our lives.
In our little group of 7, we prayed for each other, and we prayed for mission itself, covering it in God’s guidance and protection. We confessed our sins to Him and prayed for those we will be ministering to in January. And honestly, I came away refreshed! I came away with a peace in my heart and a load off my shoulders because I have left my concerns and anxieties at God’s feet. How wonderful it is to know our Creator and sustainer who is able to (and wants to) carry our burdens! It’s a priviledge that should not be taken for granted.