It is well with my soul

"When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot, You have taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul"

Horatio Spafford, 1873

It's easy when we are young in our faith to say, 'I trust that God has the perfect plan for me'. But it becomes more difficult to say this when we face challenges and realise that God's plan might not actually entail all that we had in mind. It's a time like this for me at the moment, and while it would be tempting to throw it all in and think that God doesn't care, or mustn't exist at all, I can feel God holding on to me tightly because these thoughts don't stay for long. Instead the Spirit is challenging me to trust that even though the plans I have set out for myself might seem to be wonderful, they might not happen, and God has something even better in store for me. This requires me to relinquish the control I thought I had over my life and give it to the Lord in a much more real way than ever before.

It must seem absurd to a non-Christian that I would continue to trust in a God who doesn't give me what I want when I want it... Why should I pledge allegiance to a God who seems so unfair? But I know that seeking after God was never going to be an easy road. It wasn't always going to make sense. And I can't always see what's ahead of me. But that's the very essence of trust.

I can trust in God's character because he has shown time and time again through my life so far that he is wise, he is just, he is compassionate, and he is love. My heavenly Father knows what is best for me, and that is to grow in depth of faith and love with Him. He is teaching me that nothing else matters in comparison. 

Humble and Bold I approach...

I've been challenged lately by Marty about how I pray. He has helped me to realise that I have learned to pray with humility, "Your will be done", but for so long have neglected to pray with boldness, "Give us today...". I know God as my sovereign Lord, but I don't think I fully understand him as my generous Father. Perhaps I am all too aware of my own failings and shortcomings before God, and still need to learn what his forgiveness entails.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:  ). I can read this verse so many times, and still draw something new from it! We can so easily read it as "Delight yourself in the Lord so that he will give you the desires of your heart", but this is an attitude of manipulation and selfish ambition. It is a way of trying to fit God into our plan for our lives, not allowing him to guide us with His. In light of this I have been convicted to pray with humility; allowing God to transform and guide me; walking behind him, not trying to be ahead.

Since grappling with this concept, I am coming to realise that humility is not all that is called for in how we relate to God. He is our heavenly Father, and he wants us to depend on him by asking him for things in faith that He will give us what we need. It's not enough for me to dwell in my wretchedness and sin before God. He wants me to understand his forgiveness and my new identity in Christ as his daughter clothed in righteousness! In this position I can approach the throne boldly and express the desires of my heart to the Lord.

Praise God for his forgiveness, acceptance, and generosity. He has the power to transform our hearts and the wisdom to guide us.

Mary's heart, Martha's skill

Not long ago, Marty and I went to Hornsby to meet with some of the people who lead with us on beach mission in January each year. Originally the meeting was going to be a training event on evangelism, preparing a gospel talk for kids, and things like that. But I felt very strongly convicted that lately (particularly in regards to mission) I have been too much of a ‘Martha’ and not enough of a ‘Mary’ (Luke 10:38-42). I’ve been making myself so busy with plans and preparations that I have neglected to stop, sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to what he has to say. Isn’t it so easy to do? When things aren’t working, we just try harder. When we feel out of control, we take more onto ourselves thinking that we will be able to control it all. When Jesus speaks to Martha, I feel like he’s directly speaking to me, “Martha, Martha…you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.”
So I gathered a small group from our team and we prayed. We looked in depth at several Bible passages on prayer to establish what it is and how we are meant to do it. Prayer is so much more than petition. It is submission to His will and growing the desire to see more of Him and less of ourselves in our lives. When Jesus prayed in Gethsemane, he wasn’t giving him a list of things he wanted. Rather, he was coming before the Father in his greatest hour of distress to seek God and His will in the situation. Prayer should be an outpouring of our desire to grow in our relationship with God. It should draw us closer to God as we seek His will in our lives.
In our little group of 7, we prayed for each other, and we prayed for mission itself, covering it in God’s guidance and protection. We confessed our sins to Him and prayed for those we will be ministering to in January. And honestly, I came away refreshed! I came away with a peace in my heart and a load off my shoulders because I have left my concerns and anxieties at God’s feet. How wonderful it is to know our Creator and sustainer who is able to (and wants to) carry our burdens! It’s a priviledge that should not be taken for granted.