In talking to one of my friends lately, I've discovered the reality that we as Christians can (and should) be faithful in speaking to others about Jesus, but only God can change their heart. I find this frustrating, and yet liberating, all at the same time. It's frustrating because I care so much for these girls, and want them to 'get it'; I want to see them come to know Christ as their Lord and Saviour, not just believe in His existence. Even Satan believes God exists.
But I trust in God's sovereignty, and this is why I feel liberated. I don't need to worry if I'm not eloquent in explaining the Bible; I don't need to be the world's next Billy Graham to see people saved. God is the one who does all of the saving, and He is also the one who works in the hearts of those He draws to himself. I am merely an instrument in his hand. There seems to be a point where theological reasoning can only get us so far. There is a big element of faith involved - which is a heart issue - and only God has control over that.
Perhaps through this frustration, God is humbling me and teaching me what it means to be the tool and not the craftsman. It means getting on my knees in prayer before I open my mouth to say a word. And to seek after the Lord to join his mission, rather than trying to embark on my own.
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