It is well with my soul

"When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot, You have taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul"

Horatio Spafford, 1873

It's easy when we are young in our faith to say, 'I trust that God has the perfect plan for me'. But it becomes more difficult to say this when we face challenges and realise that God's plan might not actually entail all that we had in mind. It's a time like this for me at the moment, and while it would be tempting to throw it all in and think that God doesn't care, or mustn't exist at all, I can feel God holding on to me tightly because these thoughts don't stay for long. Instead the Spirit is challenging me to trust that even though the plans I have set out for myself might seem to be wonderful, they might not happen, and God has something even better in store for me. This requires me to relinquish the control I thought I had over my life and give it to the Lord in a much more real way than ever before.

It must seem absurd to a non-Christian that I would continue to trust in a God who doesn't give me what I want when I want it... Why should I pledge allegiance to a God who seems so unfair? But I know that seeking after God was never going to be an easy road. It wasn't always going to make sense. And I can't always see what's ahead of me. But that's the very essence of trust.

I can trust in God's character because he has shown time and time again through my life so far that he is wise, he is just, he is compassionate, and he is love. My heavenly Father knows what is best for me, and that is to grow in depth of faith and love with Him. He is teaching me that nothing else matters in comparison. 

Humble and Bold I approach...

I've been challenged lately by Marty about how I pray. He has helped me to realise that I have learned to pray with humility, "Your will be done", but for so long have neglected to pray with boldness, "Give us today...". I know God as my sovereign Lord, but I don't think I fully understand him as my generous Father. Perhaps I am all too aware of my own failings and shortcomings before God, and still need to learn what his forgiveness entails.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:  ). I can read this verse so many times, and still draw something new from it! We can so easily read it as "Delight yourself in the Lord so that he will give you the desires of your heart", but this is an attitude of manipulation and selfish ambition. It is a way of trying to fit God into our plan for our lives, not allowing him to guide us with His. In light of this I have been convicted to pray with humility; allowing God to transform and guide me; walking behind him, not trying to be ahead.

Since grappling with this concept, I am coming to realise that humility is not all that is called for in how we relate to God. He is our heavenly Father, and he wants us to depend on him by asking him for things in faith that He will give us what we need. It's not enough for me to dwell in my wretchedness and sin before God. He wants me to understand his forgiveness and my new identity in Christ as his daughter clothed in righteousness! In this position I can approach the throne boldly and express the desires of my heart to the Lord.

Praise God for his forgiveness, acceptance, and generosity. He has the power to transform our hearts and the wisdom to guide us.

The strongest bridge

I feel like it has been an eternity since I've even sat down to a computer, let alone logged in to make a new post. Life has been very hectic lately, but very enjoyable and satisfying amidst the craziness! I'm 3 weeks away from finishing work with Hi-5 - which is very sad - but I'm looking forward to a much needed break.

A couple of weeks ago I went with some others from our church to women's convention in Katoomba and God had a lot to say to me that weekend. We looked at Philippians and studied a life worth living with our eyes on the prize and our feet on the ground. One of the things that stood out to me was an illustration of God's strength. We can have really strong confidence in a rickety old bridge, but no matter how confident we are, the bridge won't hold when we walk on it. But in the same token, we can have very weak and shaky faith in a very strong, robust bridge and it will hold us every step we take. Our God is a strong bridge - the strongest bridge - and how wonderful that it doesn't depend on our faith as to whether God is capable of saving us and carrying us through the storms of life. Our God is able to do anything, and he has our best interests at heart.

That makes me breathe a sigh of relief! If God is able, and God has already gone before us, then I don't need to worry about the coming season of mission, or what next year may hold for me. I don't need to get nervous about what I'm going to say if the opportunity for a gospel conversation arises, but instead look forward to seeing what God will do. I can rest in the knowledge that God is more than strong enough to carry me through anything.

Praise our awesome God for he is strong, he is reliable, he is constant, and he is loving.

Our God is able.

Here she is!

Drum roll, please... Da da da daaa! 

Here she is, our new niece Lydia! She's very cute :)

 

And here's something I could easily get used to looking at...

Lydia Nicole Francis

I'm an Aunty! My sister-in-law Clare (Marty's sister, not Aaron's wife) gave birth this morning in the wee hours of 2.53am to a baby girl called Lydia Nicole Francis. She weighs 4.15 kg and is 54cm long. We are told that they are both doing well and we can't wait to meet her! I'll post photos soon. Now to hunt for the perfect present...

Where the heart is

Over the past couple of weeks Marty and I have been forced to reevaluate our priorities, to the point where I've actually quit my job over it.

I've been working in sales for 5 months and have had to work most weekends, meaning that I have seen less of Marty than ever in our relationship, and have seen my parents and friends so infrequently that I feel very distant. It is a good job and pays well, but I was starting to reconsider how important it is for us to buy a place to live, and at what cost to our relationship with one another, with others, and with God? With a roster that consumes my weekends and is very inconsistent and unpredictable, I haven't been able to commit to many things outside of work, and ministry has been ineffective (if not non-existent).

So we committed it to God in prayer, and thankfully he answered quite quickly and with a 'yes', not a 'wait'. I got a call last week from the art director of Hi-5, where I completed my design internship last year, asking if I'd be available to fill in for her costume and props designers who are unable to work on this season of filming. It is the exact position I know I'd be happy in, and I'd get my weekends back! The only downside it that it is short-term (3 months) and we will have to find something afterwards. But God provides. I know he has something in store for us.

This decision to take the job has caused us to trust in God and not to put our trust in the 'security' of owning a home. It means that we will have more time to invest in relationships, which are more eternally significant anyway. Praise God for his provision, and amidst that, his desire to teach us to fully trust in Him.

And here's to a fun three months ahead!

The Beginning of Wisdom

Over the past few months I've been using my time driving to and from work by listening to sermons downloaded from Mars Hill church, and I'm so grateful for those precious times because I so often find that they spiritually prepare me for the day and help me to get a bit of perspective as I travel home. I definitely recommend it if you're a commuter! Much more edifying than the radio.

Anyway, the other day I listened to one on Proverbs (in particular, wisdom). Mark Driscoll was explaining Proverbs 111:10,

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom..." 

and he helped me to see it in a new light. In the past I have heard this proverb but have never delved into the meaning and practicality of it. I just thought 'Yeah, that sounds right. Good point.' Mark pointed out that the opposite to wisdom is foolishness, and the motivations behind foolishness and wisdom are what truly set them poles apart. The motivation behind foolishness is the fear of man; in childhood this is called peer-pressure, in adulthood it is people-pleasing. If we are putting other people on the throne which rightly belongs to God, we start doing foolish things. We do whatever it takes for others to say to us "Well done, good and faithful servant." But when it all boils down, we are using these people to make ourselves feel better and to bring affirmation to ourselves. That's foolish.

On the other hand, the fear of the Lord causes us to act with humility. It gives us a better perspective to see that God is the only one who deserves the glory, and we exist not to be praised, but to praise Him! When we really understand this, that's when we start becoming wise. This shows that we don't need to have instant gratification from our peers; we are willing to be patient, to run the race, and to wait for God to welcome us home with open arms because we have trusted in His grace.

As a result of having wisdom, we no longer use people, but instead we love them. A wise friend will not avoid giving or receiving a rebuke because they want their friends to always like them. They will love their friends by pointing them towards Jesus and encouraging them in sanctification. A wise person will not shy away from talking about Jesus to their workmates because they would rather be liked than judged. They will understand that on the Day of Judgement they will be accountable to a powerful and Almighty God, and not to man.

Easter watered down

One of the girls at work today was telling us how she and her family had had seafood yesterday, as it was Good Friday, and they hadn't eaten any red meat. She said it would have made her Nanna who has passed away proud. It made me think of the depth of God's sadness that his children would water down the meaning of Easter - the incredible display of God's love through the death, burial and resurrection of his son for our redemption - to eating fish, chocolate bunnies and easter eggs. He gave so much for us, and so many people had misinterpreted and twisted it to become something as far as possible from the truth. I'm not sure where the tradition came from, but it seems that eating fish on Good Friday (similar to many other Christian traditions) have lost the association with anything meaningful and have become a hollow form of lip-service to 'religion'.

How sad that God is left out of the picture of such a monumental time of year. I hope and pray that you do something to remember God's love demonstrated in Jesus on the cross.

God's Guidance

I'm seeking God's guidance in many areas of my life at the moment, and I have to be honest - I wish he was more direct in his methods of letting me know what to do! I've noticed over the past few weeks of prayer that God doesn't (in my experience) guide through a booming voice in the sky. He has instead been guiding me very much through online sermons (to the point where I wonder if Mark Driscoll has been hanging out in the corner of our house, observing what's going on!). I've also felt his guidance through conviction and through conversation with other Christians.

How do I know it's Him? I guess weighing it up with the Scriptures is key, but a lot of the time is too co-incidental to be a co-incidence! I'll be asking God to show us how to handle work outside the home, balancing it with work inside the home, and the next day I listen to a sermon online that targets that exact issue... God certainly does work in mysterious ways, but He also reveals that mystery to us if our hearts are soft and ready to listen to what he has to say.

It's my prayer that God will keep our hearts soft in all things so that we are open to his guidance and willing to face conviction... to hear Him even in the silence.

Abraham's faithfulness

I am astounded sometimes at how the Holy Spirit opens my eyes to Scripture in new ways according to where I am in life. I was reading the part of Genesis last night when God asks Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac as a burnt offering. Not only is this a big ask in itself because it's his son, but he and his wife Sarah have been waiting and waiting on God to bless them with a child. They are old, and they've finally had a son, and God asks him to sacrifice him. And he does! Well, until God stops him and gives him a goat as a replacement.

I've always read this story in the same way - comparing it with Jesus' death on the cross as a sacrifice for us instead of suffering the consequences of our sin. But last night I read in a whole new light. Isaac was Abraham's most treasured thing on earth. He had waited for him for so long, and God had promised that he would bless him with thousands upon thousands of descendants. It didn't seem to make any sense that God would ask him to sacrifice that part of his life that seemed to be filled with so much promise. If I am to identify that thing in my life - the thing that I love so dearly, and even (at times) put above God - it would be marriage and the hope of having a family. These things in and of themselves are good things, but would I be willing to sacrifice them as a 'burnt offering' for God? If he asked me to sacrifice them, would I? Because this is a good indicator of whether or not God is indeed sitting on the throne of my heart. Jesus said we have to be willing to leave our father and mother, our family, our home - everything to follow him. He may not necessarily ask this of me, but am I willing to do so? Or are these things that I won't sacrifice to Him?

Being There

I've heard it said (it was probably at the cheesy end of a movie) that 90% of being a good parent is simply showing up. I think its the same of marriage. There are inevitably going to be times in marriage - when things go wrong, when one of us stuffs something up, or when one of us receives some terrible news - when there is nothing you can say... you just have to be there for one another. It's in these times that words cannot express sorrow nor can they heal wounds. We just need to know we're there for one another. Sometimes silence can be more soothing than any words, as long as there is a hand to hold in the darkness.

Its in these times that I realise most clearly that I cannot be everything to my husband. Only God is powerful enough to soften his heart, to comfort his weary soul, and to carry the burdens he no longer can bear. Only God can make a difference to the future of such circumstances, and give him assurance that there is indeed hope ahead. These are the times when I can do nothing else but fall to my knees before our Heavenly Father and commit everything to Him in prayer because I have nothing left to offer.

Mum's Pumpkin Soup

There's nothing like Mum's cooking. This is one of those recipes that reminds me of my childhood. The other night Marty went away with some mates to Canberra, and since he hates pumpkin, I took the opportunity to indulge in it for just one dinner.

Mum's Pumpkin Soup
1kg pumpkin, diced
1 sweet potato, diced
1 onion, diced
1 clove garlic
water - enough to cover vegetables well
2 chicken stock cubes
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp crushed coriander seeds
milk to taste

Heat 1 Tablespoon of oil in a large pot. Saute onion and crushed garlic until tender. Add chopped pumpkin, sweet potato, coriander seeds and cumin and stir over high heat for a few minutes. Add water and stock, simmer covered for about 20 minutes. Puree using a stick blender in the saucepan (or transfer to a regular blender). Stir in milk until correct consistency is reached. Serve hot with sour cream and crusty bread. Enjoy!

Mary's heart, Martha's skill

Not long ago, Marty and I went to Hornsby to meet with some of the people who lead with us on beach mission in January each year. Originally the meeting was going to be a training event on evangelism, preparing a gospel talk for kids, and things like that. But I felt very strongly convicted that lately (particularly in regards to mission) I have been too much of a ‘Martha’ and not enough of a ‘Mary’ (Luke 10:38-42). I’ve been making myself so busy with plans and preparations that I have neglected to stop, sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to what he has to say. Isn’t it so easy to do? When things aren’t working, we just try harder. When we feel out of control, we take more onto ourselves thinking that we will be able to control it all. When Jesus speaks to Martha, I feel like he’s directly speaking to me, “Martha, Martha…you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.”
So I gathered a small group from our team and we prayed. We looked in depth at several Bible passages on prayer to establish what it is and how we are meant to do it. Prayer is so much more than petition. It is submission to His will and growing the desire to see more of Him and less of ourselves in our lives. When Jesus prayed in Gethsemane, he wasn’t giving him a list of things he wanted. Rather, he was coming before the Father in his greatest hour of distress to seek God and His will in the situation. Prayer should be an outpouring of our desire to grow in our relationship with God. It should draw us closer to God as we seek His will in our lives.
In our little group of 7, we prayed for each other, and we prayed for mission itself, covering it in God’s guidance and protection. We confessed our sins to Him and prayed for those we will be ministering to in January. And honestly, I came away refreshed! I came away with a peace in my heart and a load off my shoulders because I have left my concerns and anxieties at God’s feet. How wonderful it is to know our Creator and sustainer who is able to (and wants to) carry our burdens! It’s a priviledge that should not be taken for granted.

I’ve been reading a book lately that I borrowed from my mum, entitled ‘Disciplines of a Godly Woman’ by Barbara Hughes. It has given me a lot to think about, and encourgaged me to pursue a deeper relationship with God – That’s definitely a good sign that it’s a decent christian book!

Last night I read a chapter on character, in which Barbara discusses the place of television in our lives. Television is all about image, and falsifies life; it depicts a warped view of reality. Since it is so dependent on images, it draws us away from being able and willing to relate to the Word of God, which is so prominent in God communicating with us. She quotes cultural observer and critic Kenneth Myers, “A culture that is rooted more in images than in words will find it increasingly difficult to sustain a broad commitment to any truth, since truth is an abstraction requiring language.” Quite insightful.

So Marty and I went through the week’s TV guide and highlighted the shows that we particularly want to watch, agreeing that the TV will remain off for the rest of the time. Instead of sitting in front of the idiot box, we spent last night sitting across from each other on the lounge, reading our books. It was lovely sitting in silence in each other’s company… not needing to say anything, but just enjoying being together.

Healthy desire vs. pure idolatry

Something that my husband is well aware of is that I have a particularly strong (and growing) desire to have children. I have always loved kids – their curiosity, their joy, their unconditional love, and just how darn cute they  are! I’ve babysat a lot of kids over the years, and it would be so special one day to be able to raise our kids the way Marty and I want to, instilling our own Christian values in them (something I can’t do with other peoples’ kids). And with several of my close friends starting to have babies, the ‘cluckiness’ just keeps intensifying! (Mum and Dad, don’t get excited, I’m not pregnant. Just wanted to clear that up!)

But this has caused me to question lately, at what point does a desire become idolatry? Modern idols are not carved out of wood or stone – they can be anything… food, sport, success, career, social acceptance, a spouse, a house… They can be something inherently good, but if we choose to put them in the place of God in our hearts, that’s when they are transformed from a desire to a coveted object/idea. (That’s the conclusion I’ve come to anyway). But it can be so difficult to read your own heart sometimes and distinguish where your heart is on that spectrum. Perhaps a good way of gauging it is by asking “what do I spend most of my daydreaming thinking about?”. If it’s the thing you desire, then it’s probably time to re-prioritise and to start praying for God to give you a renewed hunger for Him and for His Word.

I’m still considering whether or not children are an idol for me, but I know that either way I need to be on guard, because Satan is prowling around like a roaring lion, and will try to use anything he can to twist my heart and my priorities away from God. Even if it isn’t, he will try to tempt me with something else in the future and I need to be ready, clothed with the armour of God

Worship: An expression of adoration

Over the past couple of years I have been involved in music at our church, and have consequently had many conversations about how we worship God in this context. I have been surprised at how many people have said to me that they don't know why we sing at church... and yet we do it every week for a decent proportion of the service. To me that's worrying.

So I've been pondering this notion of worship, and I know that worship is much more than singing - it's a life-attitude of glorifying God. But there's something about music that I've always felt is a special way of praising God. I've just struggled to articulate it. I think I can now, so here goes...

As a church we pray in thanks, in confession, and in supplication, but so rarely do we pray in pure adoration of God. Singing as a congregation is an opportunity to drop everything where we are (physically and spiritually) and give God praise for who he is and for what he has done.

It's certainly possible to worship God in other ways, but through the unique tool of music we can focus on God and sacrifice something of ourselves to Him in that moment. And that's just what God wants - our attention. It's like listening to a friend with our full attention. By doing this we are saying through our actions, "You are important enough to me to deserve my undivided attention". God can speak to us, but he wants our attention first so that we are ready to hear his voice.

Seeing the Gospel through new eyes

I just came home from having breakfast with a girl from our church and I'm on a bit of a buzz. She has been coming to church for a while but hasn't felt yet that she really fits in, and we've started to meet up once a week to read the Bible together. It was so exciting today because I took her through the whole gospel using the 'gospel beads' method (i.e. Green = God created everything, Black = sin, etc...) It was so exciting to share with her the basic truths of the Good news we all know so well, and to see her start to understand it for the first time!

It made me realise once more how incredibly good the news really is, and how often I take it for granted. I've been personally challenged in my faith because I've had to explain complex concepts in simple ways, and I can't use jargon to cover myself. Everything needs an explanation. How grateful I am to this girl for her willingness to learn, and for the opportunity to be challenged after being stagnant for so long. Praise God for the complexity of the gospel - it is simple enough for a child to comprehend, but still baffles the wisest of us.

How easy it is to be passionate about the gospel in the context of church, Bible study and mission... the real challenge to me lately is stepping out of that Christian bubble, and letting ministry be part of my every day life! I shy away from discussing God with people at work, I don't want to be perceived as the Christian-nerd. But when we do allow God to work through us, when we do take him outside the confines of the church building, God does amazing stuff and He gives us strength not only to take that first step, but to continue with the second, the third...

Recently my brother and sister-in-law, Aaron and Claire, took a trip to Cambodia with World Vision to visit their sponsor children. They came back just blown away by the reality of spiritual warfare, that we so rarely take notice of in our comfy, cooshy, i-don't-need-God, western world. They went outside of their comfort zone and asked God to use them - if you ever do that, be prepared for God to do amazing stuff! All he wants is a willing and obedient heart, and He will display his awesome power in very unexpected ways.

Thank you Lord, for helping me to see the gospel through new eyes today.