It is well with my soul

"When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot, You have taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul"

Horatio Spafford, 1873

It's easy when we are young in our faith to say, 'I trust that God has the perfect plan for me'. But it becomes more difficult to say this when we face challenges and realise that God's plan might not actually entail all that we had in mind. It's a time like this for me at the moment, and while it would be tempting to throw it all in and think that God doesn't care, or mustn't exist at all, I can feel God holding on to me tightly because these thoughts don't stay for long. Instead the Spirit is challenging me to trust that even though the plans I have set out for myself might seem to be wonderful, they might not happen, and God has something even better in store for me. This requires me to relinquish the control I thought I had over my life and give it to the Lord in a much more real way than ever before.

It must seem absurd to a non-Christian that I would continue to trust in a God who doesn't give me what I want when I want it... Why should I pledge allegiance to a God who seems so unfair? But I know that seeking after God was never going to be an easy road. It wasn't always going to make sense. And I can't always see what's ahead of me. But that's the very essence of trust.

I can trust in God's character because he has shown time and time again through my life so far that he is wise, he is just, he is compassionate, and he is love. My heavenly Father knows what is best for me, and that is to grow in depth of faith and love with Him. He is teaching me that nothing else matters in comparison. 

Humble and Bold I approach...

I've been challenged lately by Marty about how I pray. He has helped me to realise that I have learned to pray with humility, "Your will be done", but for so long have neglected to pray with boldness, "Give us today...". I know God as my sovereign Lord, but I don't think I fully understand him as my generous Father. Perhaps I am all too aware of my own failings and shortcomings before God, and still need to learn what his forgiveness entails.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:  ). I can read this verse so many times, and still draw something new from it! We can so easily read it as "Delight yourself in the Lord so that he will give you the desires of your heart", but this is an attitude of manipulation and selfish ambition. It is a way of trying to fit God into our plan for our lives, not allowing him to guide us with His. In light of this I have been convicted to pray with humility; allowing God to transform and guide me; walking behind him, not trying to be ahead.

Since grappling with this concept, I am coming to realise that humility is not all that is called for in how we relate to God. He is our heavenly Father, and he wants us to depend on him by asking him for things in faith that He will give us what we need. It's not enough for me to dwell in my wretchedness and sin before God. He wants me to understand his forgiveness and my new identity in Christ as his daughter clothed in righteousness! In this position I can approach the throne boldly and express the desires of my heart to the Lord.

Praise God for his forgiveness, acceptance, and generosity. He has the power to transform our hearts and the wisdom to guide us.